I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
