Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
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You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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