She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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