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You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
