I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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