i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
