I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
