Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
