why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
