I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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