why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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