im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
