brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
