we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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