I wish I could punch you in the face.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
