Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
