girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
