im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
