where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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