It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
