Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize