Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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