Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
