Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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