you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa