I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
