I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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