Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
