felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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