the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
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In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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