You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed