How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I still have a little drunk in my system
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
