Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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