Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
