I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
