How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
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