yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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