It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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