He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
