Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize