Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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