I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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