If that was your dad, he is hot
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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