Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
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Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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