Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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