Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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