The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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