The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
