she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
