he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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