We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
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i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
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There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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