so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
