Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
