I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
