Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
