He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
