The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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