I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
