just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party