i can juggle bunnies
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
That's what I'm talking about
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.